Exploitation of Situations
by fotino11
Summary: S.I.H. (Secret Investigations of Hetalia) sends its agents to Egypt! A little improvisation and a tangle with the police will make Sadik and Gupta exploite the situation! TurkeyxFem!Greece, EgyptxFem!Cyprus. Human AU. ( Please don't be mean with me, I know it sucks ( )


**I do NOT own Hetalia**

Uncanon names:

Eleni-Fem!Greece

Irene-Fem!Cyprus

Manolios-Crete

''Are you sure we are in the right place?'' Alice asked Alfred, the leader of their team (because he had the most experience, even if he was young; he had worked with FBI too), as she watched around the market place a little nervously, even if she would never admit it. They were in Egypt, where S.I.H. (Secret Investigations of Hetalia) had sent them to spy their enemies, which it was said that were in that town, acting like citizens. The bad thing with the whole mission was that the enemy actually made the police thing that themselves were the good guys and that the agents of S.I.H. were the bad ones. Stupid public service.

''Of course I'm sure! I'm sure there aren't many Cairo cities in this world!'' The American said with great confidence, even if he was really nervous too. Their enemies had moved there from Hawaii rather fast, making them come to Egypt unprepared and with a barely made plan, which contained a lot of improvisation.

''So, what's the plan again? If you can call it a plan…'' Chiara, a really grumpy south Italian woman asked. Chiara used to be one of the ''bad guys'', since she was in Italian Mafia from a young age, but she decided that she preferred to go with S.I.H.

''We are going to put some of the agents to disguise as citizens and send them to the police office to take the information. The rest will be close to them, around the square, pretending that they are tourists.''

''Who is going to disguise? The last time I checked Arabians weren't pale and blonde annoying bastards!'' Chiara reminded him. ''And the most of the team that isn't blonde –and we are talking for a few people- don't look really ''Anatolian'' ''

''I don't think he was so stupid. But because I'm not, I brought costumes only for Manolios and Irene, who are from the few that actually look Arabian. And of course there would be Gupta too, but he's an Egyptian already and will be in the second part of the plan'' Francis reassured her.

At that moment Irene and Manolios appeared from the corner of the Mosque next to the market, with Eleni, Sadik and Gupta following them. Manolios was wearing fez and a long white robe that fell down from his knee, while Irene was wearing a black long loose-fitting grown and had covered her hair with a scarf.

''So, I have explain to both of you the plan before we come here. If you find any problems, please don't risk it. We will try again tomorrow, when we will have a full plan. But, anyway let's try now and maybe we will be lucky.'' Alfred said and pushed them towards the crowd. The rest of them were scattered all around the square, watching them a few meters farther, so they can help them if there is a problem.

And of course if you don't have a good-planned plan, you are screwed. Manolios had walked a little faster than Irene had- and a little faster than a usual guy that goes to the police office- and caught the eye of two policemen, who apparently were given instructions to watch for suspicious actions. The one was surely an Egyptian, brunette with moustache and the golden eagle in his chest, but the other one was looking more like a noble European, having pale skin, blonde hair and blue eyes, with a ''helmet'' in his head that had the United Kingdom trademark . ''Fuck'' the Cretan cursed inside him and trying to act cool. He was from the people that always had problems with the Police Office.

'' Excuse me, sir!'' The blonde yelled to him in British accent, running so he would catch up with him. ''Can you speak English?'' he asked him, checking him from his glasses. Apparently he didn't really like his face.

Manolios nodded. He was really lucky. He didn't know Arabic, just some words here and there that he had learn from the Arabians that worked with them.

''What's your name sir?'' the Englishman asked again.

Manolios said the first name that came into his mind ''Omar Sabah''.

''Are you here with someone else?'' Manolios stuck. He wasn't really good at improvisation. ''If I say that I'm with someone else it would be more difficult to explain what are we doing but if I say I'm alone and Irene comes to me, we will be in much more trouble'' he thought his options.

For his good luck, Irene took him out of his awkward situation.

'' الاخ الاكبر!''(*Big Brother). She had heard some Arabs saying it to each other, since a lot of times there were whole families working on S.I.H.

''I'm guessing that's your younger sister?'' The Egyptian asked in a really accented voice. ''What's your name?''

''Fatima, Fatima… Hassan'' She cursed herself for saying Gupta's last name as hers. She would earn 2 months of mocking by her cousin, Eleni. She could already hear her. _''When's the wedding?'' _or _''Shall I call your husband and he's idiot friend_(that was Sadik)_to come over for coffee?'' _or, even worse, _''So you really think of yourself married to him, don't you? Don't worry; I doubt he would have any problem''_. Eleni could be such a bitch.

''Your brother said that your family name is Sabah, how come and you have different last name?''. The rest of the team hold its breath. Eleni, Sadik, Gupta and Alfred got ready so if something happen to go help.

''It's my husband's name'' Make them 6 months. And weird glances from Gupta-who surely heard that-, those that when she caught him looking at her, made both of them blush a really deep crimson red and look away immediately.

''Why I don't believe that?'' Said the Egyptian policeman, eyeing her up and down suspiciously.

Gupta decided that it was time to save the situation (and maybe please himself too, seeing how the whole situation was going).

He ran towards Irene and Manolio, yelling ''*Habibbi! Omar!''. (*Love)

The policemen turned to see the tanned man with the keffiyeh –surely an Egyptian- coming to them. ''How many of them are here'' The English thought to himself, looking around to see if anybody else looked suspicious.

''And you are…?'' He asked, bending down to look at Gupta's face closer.

''Gupta Muhammad Hassan, Fatima's husband''. He put a hand around his ''wife'' and pulled her closer.

''Can I see your identity sir?'' In the English great surprise, Gupta really did take out his identity, which was authentic Egyptian, with his name in it. Everything in the identity looked perfectly normal. The blonde looked a little disappointed, not managing to catch them and tried to notice anything suspicious on them. He noticed their hands. No rings.

''If you are married, as you say, where are your rings?''. By that time Manolios was ready to explode from nervousness. He was usually cool around officers, even if he wasn't under the conditions, since he was a real man and if someone denied it would surely be wrong (and dead). But he had been in trouble with Egyptian police a couple of times before and these guys weren't kidding. Oh, and of course in one of those times he had been in trouble and got himself in jail, that specific Egyptian was keeping the cages and right then was looking at him weirdly.

''They didn't fit at any of us. So we sent them to the jewelery shop to make them bigger'' ''what a cheap excuse'' the English thought. He was sure the marriage was fake, that those two weren't even in relationship, but then Gupta leaned towards ''Fatima'' and captured her lips, kissing her passionately.

''He is a player'' A few meters away Sadik whispered to himself.

Manolios, hating that his little cousin was treated like that, tried to play it insulted big brother (not that it was hard since he was an insulted big cousin).

''Gupta, I think I told you not to show so much affection in public!''

Gupta broke the kiss and glared at him, annoyed that this amazing opportunity to kiss Irene was destroyed.

''I'm her husband''

''And I'm her brother!''

The only thing that stopped the fight was Sadik and Eleni, who ran towards them having huge, excited smiles, like seeing an old friend.

''Hey, guys! You forgot that you would show us around today!'' Sadik said to them.

''Who are they?'' The Egyptian policeman asked. He was eyeing Sadik with the suspicious look that hadn't gone from his face since they started talking.

''Those are our friends'' Gupta said simply, pointing to the couple that was next to him ''That's Sadik Adnan and that's…'' Gupta noticed Sadik's pleading look ''…his wife''

Eleni glared at Gupta with as much hatred she could manage.

''What kind of name is Adnan?'' The blonde asked Sadik. He had lost his politeness a while now, a little angry at where the whole thing was going.

''Turkish, officer'' Sadik said with a big, proud smile.

''So, you are a Turk, right?''

''Till bone!''

''So, you are a Muslim too.''

''Yes, officer!''

''So, how's your wife a Christian?'' He pointed Eleni's gold cross necklace.

''Because we married politically!'' Eleni said as enthusiastically as she could manage under those conditions ''we met in Constantinople - no honey; I will keep calling it Constantinople- and we fell in love.'' The Greek almost chocked from the last words but kept talking like it never happen ''We decided that none of us wanted to leave their religion so we married politically there, where we live, since there are many Greeks''

''And your name?''

''Eleni…erm… Papadopoulos, but now it's Eleni Adnan'' She didn't want to say that but in the last moment she remembered when Sadik was saying that women in Turkey, when married, are taking their husband's name.

''Eleni Adnan'' Sadik whispered inside his teeth, smiling at how it sounded.

''Can I see your identity?''

''I'm very afraid that I've lost it somewhere in our hotel room, but my husband has his, right *agápi mou?'' (*My love)She sucked at excuses, but at least they could show one of them so the guy stopped looking at them like that.

Sadik gave the identity at the policeman and gave her a huge white smile and a wink and she turned it back with a glare and a small hurtful kick on his leg, wishing that they didn't saw it. While the officer was checking the identity he murmured ''What kind of marriage can a Muslim and a Christian have?''

''A really passionate one officer, believe me'' Sadik answered to him.

The policeman looked up at them. ''Is that so?'' he looked at Eleni ''You two don't look really in love''

Eleni hated the policeman's rude look, those glances threw his square glasses, pretending that he knew everything. She wanted like anything else to make him shut up. So she decided to sacrifice her proudest and grabbed Sadik by his shirt's collar and kissed him deeply, pretty much how Gupta had kissed Irene. Sadik, being the usual ass he was, grabbed hers and kissed back even more deeply.

''Ok, ok, too much affection for today!'' The policeman said disgusted ''Here's your identity. Have a good day! Let's go Ali!'' He said to the Egyptian and let the others alone.

Sadik grabbed Eleni from her waist, more like a couple would do, and they started for the hotel, since they didn't manage to do anything and the two policemen surely were still watching them.

''I'm so gonna kick your balls when we are alone'' Eleni whispered to him.

''You are saying that like you didn't like it!''

''Since you are not Gupta and I'm not Irene, why should I like it?!'' she said quieter, pointing at the couple a few meters away, who were holding hands, avoiding eye contact and blushing, while Manolios was looking at Gupta like he wanted to kill him.

''Because you loveeee me~'' He was pulling the string a little too far.

''I hate you'' That was a really sharp reply, which was usually making him shut up for a while.

''Oh, Miss Adnan is angry~?'' He was pulling the string really far. That won't be good for him and his balls later.

''You are such an idiot!''

''You didn't say that you didn't like the name''

''…maybe I didn't…'' It was Eleni's turn to blush.

''Ha! I knew it!'' Sadik's grin was huge, finally making her say that she didn't hate him that much and maybe liked him a little too much.

''But I'm still gonna kick your balls when we are alone'' Ouch.


End file.
